I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
