I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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