Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
