Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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