somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
