If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
