too bad you live with your parents still
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
