Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
