We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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