i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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