So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize