i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
