don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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