Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
