I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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