Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
