Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
