the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
