Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
