new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We just shotgunned beers for America
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
