whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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