She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
