I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize