After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
