she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
