Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to calm my uterus...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
