Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
