I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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