I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
