I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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