I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize