Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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