Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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