Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
