some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I still have a little drunk in my system
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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