worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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