you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Your shirt... Was in my pants
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
