I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
