I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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