i barfeds in our rink
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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