New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
