if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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