I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
