Say something about gay babies.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
