Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
