woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
