we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize