I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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