32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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