when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
