How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
