I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
