My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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