i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
