Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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