Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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