dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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