i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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