I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
