Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
