Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
